fulllife

Last night my stepson (29) came over since he was ‘in the neighbourhood’. He is a sweet, sweet man, as far as you can say that about a man. I am really fond of him. Two months ago his girlfriend left him after being together for an odd 8 years. He was devastated at first, didn’t fully comprehend the reasons behind her departure…

Since he is also a very sensitive mean - with depressions, just like me - we were worried about how he would cope with things. I mean, as an outsider you can say that life will get better after a while, but hell, that’s not what a heartbroken (step)son needs to hear, right?

Fortunately he and his ex-girlfriends are still on speaking terms, which I think is a great help to get over a loss like that. We saw him recuperating bit by bit, and he seems rather fine these days. Except for… the lonely house, the lonely moments, the lonely days, feeling lonely. We talked about that yesterday over a glass of wine. I am an expert in living alone, being alone, I did not meet my husband till 10 years ago and before that I had some relationships, but never serious enough to set up house together. So you don’t have to tell me about loneliness…

I told him that as a single man of woman you have to Make Your Own Day. Everybody is busy busy busy these days, and if you are sitting around waiting to be rescued from your loneliness, you’d better not hold your breath… He smiled and answered that he has great friends who do every now and then give him a call to join them in this or that. He plays soccer and has a great team of friends for years, all young men, some married, some a young father… And yes, he had noticed that to have a pleasant time you yourself must make the effort to organize that. When he told me he was not ”waiting on the sofa”, I felt so relieved. He had grown so much in so little time! Amazing… I shared this feeling with him, and he was just sitting there, just like his father can do, quietly, with that little smile that tells me he is quite contented. Not happy yet, but that will come around again. I am so sure of that, but are not going to tell him. He’ll find out…

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