fulllife

This is something I have been wanting to tell you about for quite some time. But there was always something else to do, so I postponed it time and time again… which is not always a good thing.

It’s about holidays. And making cash at the same time. So living your life to the full and home business. Two birds with one stone.

How would you like… to get discounts on all your travel and vacation plans for you and your family? Sounds good, huh? I knew you would like that! Did you know we spend over 7 billion dollars on vacations? Just imagine that: 7 billion dollars. A year! And that figure might be increasing dramatically with the new economies rising like crazy; China, India, countries with billions of people and economies that grow with 10 percent or more per year. That means more and more people will be able to spend money on other things than just housing, food and clothing.

And you can make money off these growing figures. The website I am talking about here is one that gives you the discounts on your travels. PLUS, if you like, you can earn money by referring the website to your friends, family colleagues and neighbors - why not?

If you check out this site you will see that the income you can make is recurring. It will come back year after year, since everybody renews their membership because of all the benefits it offers. You pay your membership once; next year you pay it from the money you made by it!

Sailing the seas, dreaming away on a coconut beach, visiting cities you had on your shortlist for a long time… airplane tickets become even more affordable and the places you want to visit just within reach…

Furthermore, if you really want to make this work: if you market the site once you are a member you can get a real income that makes life so much more enjoyable, you work from home like you always wanted to do, not for * points* or *shares* or anything like that, but for real cash…

Now what are you going to do with that cash…. how about…. some travelling?

How to take care of your patient and rob her at the same time? - could be the title of this blog. And ”taking care”…? Well, that remains to be seen. I have not been writing for a while, I have been busy writing for the internet mediator I mentioned before and moved for the winter to the Canary Islands. That’s better for me, health-wise. And this is what happend there to me last night…:

After a long day I decided to treat myself to some Spanish ‘tapas’ (little tasty ’snacks’) and a glass of wine. So I walked to my favorite tapas restaurant where I know the owner Oliver and eating alone is not boring. Suddenly I stumbled (?) and fell flat on my face on the sidewalk. A passer-by and a store owner came to my rescue… My front tooth broken, my knee swelling up like a balloon and blood streaming from my broken lip and face… The store owner wanted to call an ambulance (they call an ambulance for almost everything here) but I could stop him. Between my sniffing (I was really crying, probably from shock) I told him in Spanish not to bother. I  called someone I know and she took me to the first aid in one of the hospitals.

There they took some X-rays - after I had to pay 60 euro’s just to enter the waiting room - and told me my knee looked like fractured. Great! But, the doctor told me, in another ER they have better equipment so you go there to make sure before we put on a cast. We went to hospital #2, to make sure with another X-ray. There they told me I had to pay 70 euro’s plus every extra cost as well and I had to sign for that. “Private hospital” this was… the word “private” would pop up some more times…

Doctor #2 took the X-rays, looked at them and asked me where the fracture was supposed to be. How did I know? He examined my knee (#1 didn’t bother to do that) and told me no way I had broken my knee, otherwise I could not have been able to make the movements I just did - with a lot of pain, though. So it was ‘just’ a heavy contusion, he concluded. Okay…? I got a bandage around my knee, was told to rest it for 3 days and take it easy afterwards. Plus I got 3 prescriptions for medications.

In the presence of me and my friend he called his colleague at hospital #1 and had a Spanish conversation with him. My Spanish is a lot better than he thought, and that of my friend’s as well. We understood that he called his colleague an idiot, a bastard to send me over to him and started lecturing him on his incompetence, ending the conversation on a friendly note and some heavy smirks on being a doctor and being a doctor robbing foreign patients (I could not understand of course because of al the grinning and smirking, but my friend and I were convinced that must have been the content of the end of the conversation).

At the reception they presented me with a fat bill. The 70 euro’s for the doctor I already knew about, but what was  that 45 euro’s doing there, and those 23? Well, the receptionist was happy to explain: 45 euro’s for the swaddling bands (2 rolls) and the 23 euro’s for transporting them (from one room to another, about 10 meters). I was already weary of the pain, the heat, the long evening, no food let alone tapas, so I shrieked: “What? 45 euro’s for two swaddling bands??? I could have gotten them for you from the pharmacy for 4 euro’s!” Yes, the receptionist explained, but this is a private clinic… And those 23 euro’s??? Yes, this is a private clinic… A security man was moving closer as I started to lecture the receptionist - I really was warming up to the exercise - and demanded where I could file a complaint regarding medical incompetence and outrageous prices.

The receptionist came to the conclusion that I could best file a complaint against hospital #1 since they had send me unnecessarily to #2… after all, they were private and all… I had to pick up a complaint form at hospital #1 and then file it to the authorities… So then I demanded a copy of the diagnosis of #1, to sustain my complaint, and reluctantly she gave me that.

We stormed out of the hospital - metaphorically, I could only stumble a little - and went to the pharmacy, to buy the medication. Later at home I found out by reading the information leaflet, that the painkillers are not to be taken by people who are taking anti depression medication - which I do - so more money wasted…

“Common’ ” I told my friend, “I will buy you a drink for all your trouble.” We went to my tapas restaurant that was about to close, but Oliver opened the bar for us again and poured us the glass of wine I should have enjoyed hours before. On the house, for he was so sorry for my misery… Salud Elisabeth! So we toasted and I promised I would come back as soon as I could walk the half mile again…

There are millions of people who depend on daily medication. Thanks to “popping pills” for the rest of their lives they can live a full life and even have a pleasant one. Just think of all the people with high blood pressure, heart problems, too high cholestoral, diabetes, rheumatism, to name a few… Due to the growing number of people with obesitas these chronic ilnesses will only expand enormously the coming decades.

I am not a very healthy person myself. I have heavy migraines since I was 7 years old (I am now 57, so this year is a ‘golden jublilee year’). If not with migraine, I wake up with heavy headaches. I am also a woman with a bipolar disorder, also since childhood. This condition is also known as manic depressive illness http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml and it can really put your life on hold. According to my specialist people with migraine often are depressive and vice versa. It’s both in the brain, with those little neurons not transmitting well…

Add to those two allergic asthma, a bad back, digestive problems and arthritis in hands and knees (and several other ‘minor’ stuff) and you can see that every day is a battle. Yet I am a very optimistic person. I enjoy life (to the full), enjoy writing, have been working hard all my life as a journalist, very often disregarding my body that screamed for mercy. As long as I would move on, I didn’t have to notice those screams, and after I was done for  the day, I collapsed.

Now that I am older and wiser, I don’t push myself anymore. I have an invalid pension, can within limits do as I please and try to live a normal life. Since about four or five years I have medication that is well-balanced and well-combined for me personally, I even feel better from time to time. I have less migraines, my depressions are less deep so I climb out more easily. I have a wonderful doctor who even forgives me my drinking habit, which often comes with the manic disorder. Not that I ever get drunk, mind you, but “I like a few” so to say. Wine mostly, so lots of vitamins, my husband and I joke…

I realize now that my life has been hard on me ever since I was a child. I often wonder how I have managed to stay in the “normal” day-to-day circuit for so long, doing 40 hours jobs that turn out to be 60 hours per week - and more. Having friends, (unstable) relationships, a difficult family life… Quite an achievement, if I may say so.

There is one thing though I hate… Popping pills. Eight to ten a day. For (or against, whichever you prefer) my migraine, my bipolar disorder and my stomach. I know they keep me in business, but I hate it anyway. I will have to take them for the rest of my life. This summer vacation I was trying to take 1/6 off my anti-depressive dose - my specialist and I had conferred about this - and after 2 weeks my husband begged me to go to the old dose again. Which I did. Of course. My husband of 10 years comes first. He is the best thing that ever happend to me and although he is not the love of my life, we are a happy couple that fully understands each other. Which is great. Maybe one day I tell you more about him…

What I wonder about is WHY I so hate taking the pills. I mean, they have given me my life back. Without them I would me down and out forever. Is it because I feel dependent on them? Is it because it is so chemical (we all are chemical installations, I know, but still, some a bit more than others…) and they work in my brain? I have always been a very creative person. Would I be more or less creative without them, I can’t remember… don’t care to find out though. Is it the idea of having to eat them till my last day? Do I feel less because I “live” on pills? I don’t know.

I don’t even know if other people feel like that. I brought up the subject with some friends of who I know they are also on medication. My husband has a high blood pressure and has to take pills for the rest of his life, but he doesn’t seem to care… My friends neither. So am I just making life harder for myself than necessary?

Selfknowledge is the start of self-improvement. Yet you can look into yourself and not find any answers… Maybe one of you comes up with an answer, I would appreciate that very much. Or some of you might tell me I am not the only one feeling this way. That would be most comforting. Until that time I just keep on popping my pills and hating it.

We just came back from our vacation yesterday, my husband and I. We had a great time together, travelling in the south of France and the Spanish Pyrenees, topping it off with three nights in a luxurious hotel in Andorra, the dwarf state between France and Spain.

During our travelling we stayed in a few fancy hotels, we found an interesting offer on the Internet and booked a tour with those 4 stars hotels. Not bad, uh? Just bed & breakfast, lunch and dinner we could go anywhere we liked. Now there is this little thing that bothers me, actually puzzles me as well. And that little thing is: coffee.

Four stars hotels, great breakfast buffets with lots to chose from - fantastic! Very healthy food, nice food, top of the bill. Then why, oh why is their coffee so lousy? And I do mean lousy! With all this quality in their hotel rooms, at their buffets you would think that they do know how to make a good cup of coffee…

Now I must confess I am a lover of good coffee. If you drink it, it might as well be good, right? So I don’t want old coffee, coffee with the colour of coffee but tasting like next to nothing (or dish wash water) of coffee from the cheapest brand available. I just want GOOD coffee, like the ones you get in a coffee shop, or at Starbucks and the sorts, for the price you pay I think you are entitled to a good cup or two of the wake-up drink. After all, they do make a nice buffet, they do have a good ‘cuisine’ when you eat at their restaurant, so why can’t they make a bloody cup of coffee? Is that so hard? There is this English saying: “if this is coffee, give me tea”… heard that one before?

Do they have classes in making coffee? If so, I suggest to send all hotel managers there, so they can teach their staff afterwards…

Now I know, American (and English) readers, that your coffee is a lot different from ours - European. That’s why Starbucks etc is such a hit in your country. Because they make a decent cup of coffee - at an outrageous price, I might add, but that’s up to you the consumers. They even conquer our countries as well, although we don’t have as many in any particular city as you do. Aaah… but you have a lot to catch up .

Just to set your minds at peace: I did not let the ugly morning coffee spoil my vacation. No way, of course not. After breakfast our first stop was a good bar or cafe with those lovely big espresso machines that also do a magnificent cappuccino, or so I’m told - me myself I don’t come near the stuff… So now I am thinking… should I charge those hotels 4 cups of espresso per day? Would that be a possibility? Hm-mm that would teach them, wouldn’t it? What do you think???

We all know it… have a look in the mirror, see yourself standing there and think: mmm, I gotta lose some weight! Sounds familiar? Yeah? I know it would!

Diets, fitness, exercise, you name it, I did it. Diets are a disaster, for every time you sort of stop, you will fall back to your old weight (or even more) before you know it! Can’t fool your body! It’s a diferent lifestyle you need, with different habits, not a diet… I know that, but what about the rest of the family, huh? Not everybody joins in happily and stays happy…

Fitness, exercise, boring boring… besides, being 57 does have its limits

But now I have found something: WOW! I am just a newbie at it, but I already love it! It’s called Zumba and you probably have heard about it, because this way of exercising is conquering the globe - or at least a big part of it. If you like to dance - I love to dance - than this is for you. If you like latin dances, then this is a must! On the rhytm of salsa, merengue and other latin dances I never heard of before, you do your exercises in dance steps. It’s fun to do and on the DVD every step is broken down in 3 ‘beats’, permitting you to learn the steps real easily. Once you mastered the steps, the fun can begin! Dance your weight away, burn calories by the hundreds and get in the mood of long summer evenings, beach parties and great dancing… what else do you want?

I know you can order the DVD’s to learn it at home, I did, but it’s kind of expensive here in the Netherlands, around $100.00. You can try a lesson at your local gym first, to see if you do indeed like it and it’s worth the money you are going to spend. The good point in this Zumba training is that the DVD’s won’t go to waste if you give it a rest for a while, you can do it anywhere you like (no machines or sturdy apparel to drag around) and who knows, your family members might join you in the fun! And after that: piña coladas… ha ha, just joking!   Although…

ps I am not a reseller of this Zumba method, just an enthusiastic!

Being friends for over 30 years… sometimes even over 35. I am very blessed to have such friends, they grew up with me, so to speak. We have lived through the same stages of life, the decades where everything in social life was changing, we had our ups and downs, helped each other through them… Yes, it’s great to have friends like that. Better than family, I think… since you get to choose them yourself, by letting them into your life - or not.

Somehow however, I sometimes have the feeling that there are situations where it is a bit of one way traffic. Of all my friends, I was the one to stay single, up to 10 years ago. I have had my relationships, but never long enough or intense enough to move in together or even tie the knot. The others got off and married, got children, or did not marry but moved in together… In those years it was very often me who had to take the initiative and arrange for us to meet for a drink, dinner or just a cup of coffee. I don’t know why that had to be me, I figured then it might have something to do with them being busy with work and family life (as if I was not busy, working 60 to 70 hours a week as a journalist…). I did get pissed off from time to time, didn’t contact them for some time until they contacted me - in full amazement why I hadn’t been in touch before! My conclusion was that once friends where setting up house, they were kinda ‘lost’ for me, since I did not alway fit into their schedule. 

Lately I am beginning to wonder if it is true that the one way traffic was due to their busy lives. I mean, I have now my own partner, with 3 adult children from his first marriage, and that brings in a lot of social life I did not have before. I begin to understand what it means to have committments within the family and with the children - and I missed the baby and small children stage… The result is that maybe I am becoming just like my friends, being busy busy busy, not having as much time for them as I used to have. And you know what? I hate that! It goes in against my ideas of friendship… but I simply haven’t got the energy to see them as often as I did. Add to that that we all grow a bit older as well, and need more time to rest, and there you go…

So I have come to wonder: what is friendship, if you don’t have contact with each other on a regular basis? What’s it worth? Since I did the ‘legwork’ in the past, wás it indeed friendship? Or just good companionship? Now the latter is not true, I know that, because every time I am in touch with one of them, it seems that time does not matter, seems like we met just last week. We pick up where we left very easily, so there must be more to it than just good companionship! But then, why are those questions bugging me? And why do I not pick up the phone, tell a friend I am on my way and get into my car and drive to their home? Because it would be me - again - who does the legwork? Ooohh, it is a nagging question, to which I don’t have the answer, yet. I’ll keep searching and if I come up with something, I will let you all know!

Let me make one thing clear: I love my husband dearly…

Okay, that’s clear, right?

One other thing to be clarified: I hate cooking. Even though I am a good cook - according to others - I nevertheless hate it. Can’t help it. So I have to put up with that, and do some cooking every few times a week. My husband loves to cook… from a recipe that is, while I just throw some things in the pots and pans and make a meal…

Now, my spaghetti a la bolognesa is famous. Don’t like to brag, but it’s really good, and really Italian, if you know what I mean… not bad for a Dutch woman, huh? My dear husband also loves my spaghetti a la bolognesa very much, but only - close the curtains, hush hush - only after he puts in some Indonesian ingredients…. Aaarrrggh, I just HATE that, time and time again. Why does he do that? I asked him again, tonight. His answer, as always, sounds something like: I really love your sauce, but I want to personalize it… (kill kill kill) Personalize it with Indonesian sweet soya sauce and hot pepper sambal??? What about my delicate balance between basil, garlic, pepper, tomatoes….? What about the Italian factor? This is so not encouraging to cook… He does not do that with a lot of other dishes, only a few, and when I ask him whether he doesn’t like the spaghetti sauce, I mean, that is possible, right?, he assures me it’s wonderful (I think it is, and so do others). How come I don’t believe him…?

In spring I feel love everywhere… It’s like everything and everybody sparkle and shine, invigorated by the beams of the sun. In spring I am looking for signs of love all around me. Those signs cheer me up and bring a smile to my face. I am a sucker for love, I guess…

I was sitting in a train in Spain last week (we were on an vacation, remember) and I was feeling quite contented being where I was: in Spain, the sun shining, nice temperature, perfect. The next station a young man got on the train. He was carrying a red rose, carefully wrapped in transparent foil. I was intrigued… This man was not looking very cheerful, just a look on his face as in “business as usual”, yet he was carrying a red rose… Two stops later he opened the door of the train, staring outside, looking for someone, I suppose. Suddenly he was busy dragging a children’s buggy into the train and after that a young blond girl, just before the train moved again. All aboard, indeed.

The man and the young woman - not girl, really - chatted a bit together, the man spoke to the toddler in the buggy, not very romantic at all… suddenly he managed to give the rose “an appearance” and handed it over to the young woman, his woman, I suppose. The woman opened the gift card with the rose, and while she read the quite lengthy text, the face of the man changed… from noncommittal into a wide, happy smile, his eyes sparkling, his whole face was smiling and looking at his woman… She turned to him and embraced him, dropping the card, hugging him intently. He hugged her back, and the two of them were entangled in an affectionate long hug, whispering little words to each other, being perfectly happy. There is love for you, in my opinion… The toddler apparently felt neglected, ’cause a sudden wailing ended the lover’s embrace, and guiltily they paid some attention to the kid.

They got off the train at the same station I did, so while they walked towards the exit, I follwed in their path of radiating love. The sun was shining, the temperature was nice and I had had my “dose” of love for the day…

Well, well… being a Today Blogger for just 2 days and already I need a vacation….

Seriously, we booked this week of vacation long time ago, so starting tomorrow (Saturday) I will enjoy a bit of sunshine and Spanish atmosphere… and my husband! Quality time!

Since I don’t know what the internet options are over there, it could be that I will be out of touch for the next week. Not good for a blog that’s just been set up, but hey, I live my life to the full, remember? I’ll try not to get sun burnt and see you all later… Meantime, enjoy yourselves!

Last night my stepson (29) came over since he was ‘in the neighbourhood’. He is a sweet, sweet man, as far as you can say that about a man. I am really fond of him. Two months ago his girlfriend left him after being together for an odd 8 years. He was devastated at first, didn’t fully comprehend the reasons behind her departure…

Since he is also a very sensitive mean - with depressions, just like me - we were worried about how he would cope with things. I mean, as an outsider you can say that life will get better after a while, but hell, that’s not what a heartbroken (step)son needs to hear, right?

Fortunately he and his ex-girlfriends are still on speaking terms, which I think is a great help to get over a loss like that. We saw him recuperating bit by bit, and he seems rather fine these days. Except for… the lonely house, the lonely moments, the lonely days, feeling lonely. We talked about that yesterday over a glass of wine. I am an expert in living alone, being alone, I did not meet my husband till 10 years ago and before that I had some relationships, but never serious enough to set up house together. So you don’t have to tell me about loneliness…

I told him that as a single man of woman you have to Make Your Own Day. Everybody is busy busy busy these days, and if you are sitting around waiting to be rescued from your loneliness, you’d better not hold your breath… He smiled and answered that he has great friends who do every now and then give him a call to join them in this or that. He plays soccer and has a great team of friends for years, all young men, some married, some a young father… And yes, he had noticed that to have a pleasant time you yourself must make the effort to organize that. When he told me he was not ”waiting on the sofa”, I felt so relieved. He had grown so much in so little time! Amazing… I shared this feeling with him, and he was just sitting there, just like his father can do, quietly, with that little smile that tells me he is quite contented. Not happy yet, but that will come around again. I am so sure of that, but are not going to tell him. He’ll find out…